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Reading your PLace setting

The failsafe rule of dining etiquette is to work from the outside in, and only use one set of silverware per course. The diagram above gives you a basic view of what to expect.

You may also encounter a salad knife placed between the steak knife and the spoon. If coffee or tea are being served, there will be a demitasse spoon on the saucer, or to the left of the soup spoon. This small spoon can also be used for desserts if a dessert spoon is not available.

Remember: when in doubt, watch the host or hostess.

First things first, don't be early and don't be late. If you know you're going to be late (and you'd better have a good reason), make every attempt to contact your host or hostess and apologize.

After the last person at your table has been seated, unfold your napkin at table level (don't shake it out over your plate), and put it in your lap. At the end of the meal, place your napkin on the right side of your plate. If you have to excuse yourself during the meal, leave your napkin folded on the back of your chair, or on the right side of your plate. Remember: a handkerchief wipes the nose, a napkin only wipes the mouth. If you have to blow your nose, excuse yourself.

Do not begin eating until everyone at your table has been served. After the host (or hostess) picks up their utensil, you can begin. If they tell you to eat before everyone is served, try to eat slowly so you're not done well before others at your table.

Make your conversation light, and don't dominate. Generally it's best to avoid politics and religion at a formal dinner table. Don't disucss any part of the cost of the meal, and speak in a normal tone of voice.

Keep your elbows off the table during courses. You can either rest your hands in your lap or rest them on the table (with wrists at the table edge).

When finished, don't push your plate away. Leave it where it is, and place your used silverware horizontally or at 5 o'clock on your plate to let your server know you're finished.

Eat all types of food served unless they are unpalatable. Always thank your host or hostess before leaving.

It should go without saying, but remember to sit up straight, don't talk with food or drink in your mouth, and never smoke, apply makeup, or pick at your teeth at the table. Gentlemen, always assist a lady with her chair.

 

 

 

 

What to do with...

Salt and Pepper Taste the food prior to seasoning it, as a sign of respect to the chef. The salt and pepper shakers should always be passed together, even if only one is requested. Always pass to the right, and DO NOT reach across the table to grab what you need.

Glasses Hold glasses by the stem to preserve their chill. Large-stemmed glasses (wine goblets, etc.) may be held with the thumb and first two fingers at the base of the bowl. Putting your pinkie in the air when sipping a beverage is only appropriate in the movies - don't do it.

Coffee and tea Sugar and cream should be stirred into coffee or tea clockwise. Place the demitasse spoon on your saucer before drinking. Tuck empty sugar and creamer packaging under the edge of your saucer or butter plate. There's also no need to turn your cup upside down if you don't want coffee or tea, a quiet decline will suffice.

Lemon If squeezing a lemon into a beverage, cup your other hand around it to avoid spritzing those across the table with lemon juice. Citric acid in the eyeballs will not make a favorable first impression.

 

Bread Break off one bite-sized piece of bread at a time following the crease of the roll, butter it (with your knife, not by dipping it into a glob of butter), place the butter knife across the top edge of the bread plate, and repeat. Don't cut your bread; don't bite off one piece at a time.

Butter If butter is served in foil, slide it off the foil and onto your plate, then place the empty foil under the rim of your plate. Butter is for bread only- keep it off your vegetables.

Meat Meat with bones (even ribs) should be eaten with a knife and fork. Save finger-licking for your next pig pickin'. If gravy or sauces are provided for a meat, put a small amount directly on meat and starch dishes only. Cut meat one piece at a time, and don't dunk it in a community sauce or gravy dish.

Soup When eating soup, dip the spoon AWAY from you, then bring it up to your mouth. (Imagine making a circle from your mouth to the bowl and back.) Sip, (don't slurp) from the side of the soup spoon. If soup is too hot to eat, let it cool; don't blow on it.

 

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